


Hog-Monkey Mind

by iamawilderness



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang is a sweetie, Anxiety, Family Bonding, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Insomnia, Meditation, Mental Health Issues, Sokka is bad at meditating, Spirit World (Avatar), Stress Relief, Waterbending & Waterbenders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamawilderness/pseuds/iamawilderness
Summary: Sokka is stressed the hell out. Maybe his friends can help. Or: Aang teaches Sokka how to meditate! Sokka is not great at it!(Set somewhere in the middle of Season 2. The timeline is a little messy. Just go with it.)
Relationships: Aang & Sokka (Avatar), Aang/Katara (Avatar), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Katara, Toph Beifong & Sokka
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	1. Literally Always Stressed

**Author's Note:**

> This story is what happens when you rewatch "Avatar" in the middle of a pandemic shortly after you find out you have generalized anxiety disorder and find yourself over-identifying with Sokka and his constant stress. Also, I've been trying to learn to meditate, and it's really hard and boring! Maybe Sokka and I can learn together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a fun game for you all: Spot the hidden "Empire Records" reference in this chapter!

It was somewhere over the airspace between Omashu and Ba Sing Se, somewhere between picking up Toph and fleeing from Azula, that it became clear something had to be done.

“Sokka, he’s _fine._ Cut it out,” Katara said.

“Who’s fine? Where?!” Sokka had been lost in his thoughts, calculating how much time remained between now and the solar eclipse, how long it would take Aang to master earthbending, the quickest way to muster an army capable of standing up to the Fire Lord. 

“You don’t know you’re doing it, do you?”

“Doing what?” Sokka loved his sister, but sometimes her self-righteousness could be downright obtuse.

Katara sighed. With the patience of someone who’d been fielding this sort of thing her whole life, she gently but firmly seized his hand, which was buried deep in Appa’s pelt. A clump of thick white tufts came with it, clenched between each finger in Sokka’s fist. “Appa stopped shedding weeks ago. If you keep pulling out his fur like that, he’s gonna end up with a bald spot,” she said.

As if corroborating her claim, the sky bison roared, a low sound that shook his entire frame and rattled the saddle they were sitting on.

Sokka released his iron grip on the fur and watched it swirl away in the wind as they continued their flight north. “Whoops. Sorry, buddy.” He patted Appa’s flank and leaned back against the saddle, feeling muscles loosen that he didn’t even realize he’d be tensing. “I guess I’m just a little stressed,” he said, offering Katara a weak smile.

She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You’re literally always stressed.”

“Yeah, well. Life is stressful! Not all of us can just waterbend all our problems away.”

“That’s not how waterbending works, jerkface.”

“Oh, come on. I’ve seen you and Aang, all ‘Oh, look at us, in this serene pool, one with the flow of the tides,’ or whatever.” He punctuated his words with some wobbly arm-waving that he associated with his sister’s native element.

Katara fixed him with a withering stare. “First of all, pools don’t have tides. Or at least, not ones big enough to notice.”

Sokka threw his arms skyward in exasperation. “Whatever! Point is, I’m not exactly good at being, y’know, _serene._ ”

Beside him, Toph caught the pebbles she’d been juggling and snickered. “Trust me, Sokka, serenity is overrated. If you’re stressed, just do what I do.”

Sokka took the bait. “And what’s that?”

Toph grinned. “Well first, I rip a big-ass rock out of the ground. Then, I hurl it at a tree as hard as I can. Then I keep hurling more rocks at it until it falls down!”

“Yeah… I don’t think that’s gonna work for me.” 

Aang’s head popped into view from his perch behind the reins. “Toph, as the Avatar and sworn protector of the natural and spiritual world, I have to ask you not to knock over innocent trees while we’re traveling together.”

Toph thrust a finger in Aang’s direction. “Here’s your first earthbending lesson, Twinkletoes: _No tree is innocent._ ”

Katara rounded on her. “I don’t think that this kind of negativity is going to help Aang learn earthbending.”

Toph stood, imposing despite her short stature. “Listen, sugar queen. I don’t tell you how to teach waterbending, so don’t tell me how to teach earthbending!”

“Gosh, I wonder why I’m stressed,” Sokka muttered as he watched the two of them stare daggers at each other.

“Stay out of this, Sokka!” the pair of them scolded in perfect unison, surprising themselves out of their own quarrel.

Sokka instinctively pressed himself against the lip of the saddle. The only thing scarier than pissed-off Toph was pissed-off Katara. He’d seen her unleash a hail of razor-sharp icicles on their enemies, and didn’t fancy being on the business end of that onslaught. “Aang, a little help here?” he whimpered, his voice cracking.

The Avatar spun upwards on a cushion of air and landed on Sokka’s other side, Momo following after. “I’m sorry you’re stressed,” he said. “Monk Gyatso taught me that when you’re feeling overwhelmed, the best thing to do is sit in the stillness inside yourself and breathe.”

 _The stillness inside myself?_ Sokka thought. There was nothing still about him, inside or outside—never had been. His whole life was about pushing through—past the firebenders who destroyed his family, past the constant threats faced by the Southern Water Tribe, past his own misgivings about his ability to become a warrior as formidable as his father. Once they’d started traveling with the Avatar, Sokka felt at home in the constant whip and frenzy of their lives, the neverending series of goals to achieve that steadily brought them closer to taking down the Fire Nation. There was no stillness, only an endless striving. He was like a squid shark; he had to keep moving or die.

As if Aang could hear the gears churning in his head, he rested a hand on Sokka’s shoulder and smiled gently. “Maybe this isn’t a concept you’ve come across before. I’m talking about meditating, Sokka.”

Sokka raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You mean like when you go into the Spirit World?”

“Sort of, but—”

“No offense, but I don’t think I’m really a Spirit World-y kinda guy, you know? I feel like the spirits would probably be like, ‘Hey, boomerang guy, get out of our, uh, spirit jungle or some junk!’ And then I’d be like ‘But I don’t know how!’ And then they’d be like, ‘It’s really a shame that _you must die!_ ’ And then I’d be like, ‘No, please don’t eat me!’ And then they’d be like, ‘Too bad!’ And then I’d be like—”

“Sokka! Whoa! Calm down!”

He paused his ranting to see Katara and Aang staring at him as if he’d sprouted a second head, and that head was a cat-gator. Toph was impassive.

“Sorry, I… uh…” Sokka lifted his right hand to find that he was holding a fresh clump of Appa fur. Why couldn’t he have a _normal_ nervous habit, like biting his nails? “I guess I let myself get a little carried away sometimes.”

“Ya think?” Toph deadpanned.

“Toph! Not helpful,” Katara muttered.

Aang stepped between the two of them. “Sokka, just listen for a second, okay?”

“Okay,” Sokka agreed, feeling the fight go out of him. This kid really _was_ good at deescalating conflicts. He wondered, not for the first time, whether all Avatars were born with that skill or if it was an airbender thing. Or maybe it was just an _Aang_ thing.

“What I was going to say was, yes, meditating _is_ what I do to go into the Spirit World. But that’s a really specific kind of meditation. There’s lots of other ways to do it where your spirit stays in your body—no planar travel required.”

Sokka tented his fingers. “I’m listening.”

“Basically, meditation is a way to recenter yourself, to let go of whatever is on your mind, even if it’s only for a little while.”

“But I can’t let—”

“Sokka. _Listening,_ ” Katara scolded. 

“Right. Sorry. Not interrupting. Go on, oh wise and noble Avatar.”

“I can tell you’re being sarcastic, but also that you’re not, so I will.” Aang smiled one of his unnervingly perceptive smiles. “It doesn’t mean you forget that your problems exist, or that you let them go. Everything is still there. You just...sit on the banks of the river of your mind for a little while, instead of swimming in it. Does that make sense?”

Sokka let out a frustrated puff of breath. “Not really.”

“It’s about awareness, about being aware of—”

“Hey, who’s steering the bison?” Toph cut in.

“Whoops!” Aang clapped a hand over his mouth for a moment before airbending himself back onto the top of Appa’s head and taking the reins once more. “Sorry about that, guys!” A moment later, Sokka felt the bison shift beneath them as Aang brought them back on course.

“Awareness, huh?” Sokka shouted to him. 

“What can I say? I guess I just get really jazzed talking about meditation!”

Sokka was about to call him a nerd, but then he glanced over and saw the way Katara was looking at the Avatar, like the guy had just said the most romantic thing in the world, and he held his tongue. He wasn’t remotely ready to deal with whatever was going on there.

“I’ll show you how to do it tomorrow after we break camp, okay?” Aang called back over the roar of the wind as they picked up speed once more. “It’ll be fun!”

“You’ve got a weird idea of fun, man!” he replied. Just the _thought_ of sitting still made Sokka’s muscles twitch involuntarily. But he had tried a lot of new things on this trip so far—fighting in full Kyoshi Warrior makeup, letting Katara make the schedule sometimes, making out with a girl who turned into the moon. He could plonk down in the stillness inside himself and have a look around, right? Piece of cucumberquat cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound my brain makes all the time.”_  
>  – Chidi Anagonye, "The Good Place”


	2. All These Candles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's probably not a coincidence that I'm writing about insomnia at 2:30am, huh?
> 
> Also, I went down a little rabbit hole researching [Sokka's detective hat](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/chinese-futou-hats-social-distancing).

Sokka squinted through the eyepiece mounted on his futou hat, which he liked to call his “thinking cap” and Aang liked to call his “weirdest costume accessory.” Night had long since descended on the Earth Kingdom, but Sokka had bought enough candles in Gaoling to get him through weeks of late-night strategizing sessions. He was crouched in the lee of a boulder away from the rest of the camp, engrossed in a wax-stained map of the Fire Nation that he’d swiped from Wan Shi Tong’s library. He was trying to puzzle out the best route through the Black Cliffs when a noise startled him from behind. He whipped around to see a badger frog perched on a nearby rock, ribbiting like it had something vitally important to tell him.

Sokka raised his monocle and fixed the frog with what he hoped was a withering stare. “Do you _mind_?”

The frog ribbited again, and — the _nerve_ on this guy — jumped directly into the middle of Sokka’s map, one slimy foot obscuring the Great Gates of Azulon.

“Froggy, no! Shoo! Shoo!” He swiped furiously at the air above it, hoping to scare the offending creature away before it left a giant stain on the map, which was an _antique,_ by the way. But he only succeeded in knocking over one of the candle holders holding the corner in place, which did coerce the badger frog to leap away, but lead to an entirely new, and much worse, problem.

“Fire! Fire!” Sokka stood and began to stamp the growing flames out with his shoe before remembering that he was, in fact, barefoot.

His resulting shouts of pain must have carried beyond his little alcove, because Katara skidded around the corner of the boulder a moment later in her pajamas, bleary-eyed. She had always been a light sleeper. “Sokka! What’s—” She took rapid stock of the situation, and with lightning quickness, bent water from a nearby puddle and doused the small fire. 

Sokka crumpled to the ground, clutching his burned foot, and looked at the soaked, charred ruin that had once been his map. A loud sob escaped his lips before he could stop himself. 

Katara crouched beside him and laid a steadying hand between his shoulder blades. “Are you okay?” She spoke in a low, gentle voice that reminded him of their mother, soothing him after he woke up from a nightmare.

“That was our only map of the Fire Nation,” he murmured, not meeting her eye.

Katara was silent for a long moment, and Sokka had the sense that she was holding herself back from saying something. Instead, she let out a sigh and walked away. Sokka took the opportunity to wipe away a few tears that had fallen before she reappeared a few moments later with her waterskin. “Let me see your foot.”

Too exhausted to argue, he leaned back against the boulder and stretched his right leg out in front of him so that the burned sole of his foot was facing her. Katara drew water from the skin and it coalesced around his foot. Sokka hissed at the contact, but a moment later it began to glow an unearthly blue, and his pain washed out to sea. The shining, deep-ocean light reminded him of moonshine, of Yue, of home. He watched his sister, brow set in concentration, as she moved her hands in gestures he could never hope to comprehend, and felt both grateful and undeserving.

So he did what he always did in situations where his emotions threatened to overwhelm him: He made a joke. “Will you back up my story if I tell Aang and Toph that I got this from kicking the crap out of a firebender?”

A small smile crossed Katara’s lips. “Sure, Sokka.”

“Ah, who am I kidding. You’re a terrible liar.” That earned him a glare, and the glow of the water faded a little. “I meant that as a compliment!” he corrected quickly.

She raised an eyebrow at him, but kept working. “What are you doing looking at maps in the middle of the night anyway?”

“Strategy, obviously! We’ve got less than three months until the eclipse, and we don’t even have a plan yet, and Aang hasn’t mastered earthbending yet, let alone firebending! We need to go to the Earth King with a _strategy,_ otherwise he’s gonna be like, ‘Hahaha, you stupid kids and your random doomsaying!’ And then we’ll be the laughing stock of Ba Sing Se, and what if I never see Suki again?”

He looked up to see Katara staring at him, concern etched across her features. “When was the last time you got a real night’s sleep?”

“Sleep? Who needs sleep? Sleep’s stupid!” Sokka was vaguely aware that his heart was racing, that his palms were sweaty, and that his burned foot was curiously numb.

The healing glow faded, and Katara bent the liquid back into the waterskin. “ _You_ do. I know we’re all under a lot of pressure right now, but even strategy guys need to sleep.” She flicked the eyepiece on his futou and it flopped back down, blurring his vision.

“But I bought all these _candles,_ Katara,” he said miserably.

“Yeah, and how are they treating you?”

He looked down at the ruins of his map, at the wax that had pooled and dried on the rock, and threw his hands up in the air. “Poorly!”

Katara stood and held out her hand. “Come to bed, okay? We can clean this up in the morning.”

“But I’m not tired.” Even as he said this, Sokka felt the lie of it. His eyes stung from being open too long, and the stars seemed to whirl overhead.

“Count koala sheep,” his sister suggested.

Sokka sighed. “I’ll try.” He took her hand and stood, stumbling on his unburned foot.

“Don’t try to put weight on it just yet. I mostly healed it, but the new skin’ll be tender.” She pulled his arm around her shoulders for him to balance his weight against, and Sokka was struck by how much she’d grown and changed these last few months—his kid sister, the waterbending master, the rock of their little group.

“You’re a pretty good sister, you know that?” he said as they made their halting way back to camp.

Katara smirked. “Wow, you must be tired if you’re throwing compliments at me all willy-nilly.”

“Would it make you feel better if I pointed out that it’s super gross that you’ve got a satchel full of my stinky foot water now?”

She used her free hand to punch him lightly in the ribs. “If you’re not careful, I’ll put it in your soup in the morning.”

“Wow, way to kick a guy when he’s down.”

She shot him a knowing look. “Like you kicked that firebender?”

Sokka grinned, despite the pebbles digging into his bare foot, the exhaustion that threatened to overtake him, the creeping anxiety that still hadn’t abated, the charred remains of his best-laid plans. “Exactly like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep."_  
>  — Fran Lebowitz


End file.
